Faking Six Sigma

Our friend Mark Graban at the Lean Blog has started to coin the term "LAME" for "lean as misguidedly executed" in an attempt to describe those people and companies that claim to be implementing lean manufacturing but really have no clue.  But what about managers that don't even care and simply want to keep up with the buzzwords?  Steve Crescenzo at the Corporate Hallucinations blog has written a column on how to fake six sigma.  Just what the world needs... more managers that fake it.

In my column, I go into great detail about how we need to learn Six Sigma, if we ever want to run with the big dogs in the organization. And there are two ways we can learn it: We could actually take the Six Sigma training. But it's probably real boring. That's why I like option number 2, which I call the 'Crescenzo Method of Six Sigma.' My method can be summed up in five words:  'Bullshit your way through it.'

Now I know why I bump into so many managers that simply don't care... they read Steve's blog instead of Mark's or ours.  Bryan over at Management-Issues has a similar analysis.

But to really shine as a Six Sigma bluffer, use multiple abbreviations in one sentence: "I've got a Six Sigma team drilling down to get the RCA. Once we uncover it, we'll have several PCA options, and we've already implemented a PSTS in order to make sure we don't have a repeat occurrence. It only takes a few abbreviations to make you appear just like a know-it-all Six Sigma "black belt."

Sadly it probably works, at least long enough for them to convince someone to let them climb another rung on the corporate ladder, letting the poor souls left behind to deal with the wreckage of LAME... or perhaps SSAME in this case.

Comments

[Ron]

Here is how you nail those SSAME idiots to the wall. When they start running their mouth ask them to explain the difference between a leptokurtic and platykurtic distribution.

[Dawn Champnella]

I have to say that I'm a black belt and I've had a lot of training and experience with Lean...my take...stay far, far away from those who do nothing but speak the jargon of the programs. 9 times out of 10 (in my experience), those are the BS people. They want everyone to think the really know how to use the tools of the programs, when really, if you asked them to train others or (God forbid) actually implement something, they high tail it in the other direct.

It's the ones with the quiet passion that actually get things done. Thanks to all who can actually take a kaizen suggestion and get it done.